Archives For comedy

I Ate My Cat’s Bush

November 21, 2020 — 2 Comments

In my experience, the more time stacked on a relationship, the lighter the expectation. Fifteen years ago, spending time with my future husband was an endeavor, a planned scheme to win over and anchor his commitment. In pursuit of his devotion, each date and occasion had to create a moment that surpassed the one before. A date to a movie progressed to a picnic by the river that eventually advanced to a spontaneous, overnight trip to Alabama for a KISS concert, and before I knew it, I had surprised him with a trip to London just so he can experience his favorite musical, The Phantom of the Opera, on its home soil. Nowadays, though, my wallet and I are grateful that an acceptable level or relationship maintenance is an evening on the sofa, sharing a movie and a bowl of pomegranate seeds while chaperoned by a balding cat that lounges between us on a towel matted in clumps of its own long, black fur.

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You can find some weird shit on the internet. And you don’t even have to look very hard for it.

It makes me wonder if we shouldn’t just shut down the whole thing.

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

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