Archives For Cat Care

The Caturday Report

August 22, 2020 — 2 Comments

Is it just me or does this pic look like we’re about to drop an album?

F*%k all y’all muthaf#%kin’ honkey-a$$ crackas! – Predator Face

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Putting the Cat to Work

August 14, 2020 — 5 Comments

Predator Face said he was bored so I told him to do some filing for me.

His work either reflects his incompetence with basic alphabetizing or dislike of being told what to do.

My guess is a little of both.

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Shit Scissors: A Poem

October 14, 2016 — 9 Comments

I was bored so I wrote a poem about a handy tool cat owners keep handy.
Shit Scissors: A Poem

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I often worry that too many new cat owners have unrealistic assumptions when it comes to the expectations and responsibilities of sharing your home with one or more cats. Because of their romanticized preconception of cat behavior (and for that I blame cat food commercials that hire supernaturally unfinicky actors, cat litter ads that hire one of the few cats alive that actually cover their disgusting waste, and Sarah McLachlan), these stereotypically lonely yet good intentioned people quickly regret their decision. This can result in lashing out when the cat behaves as nature intended it to, returning the cat like an unwanted gift after Christmas, or re-homing the cat who thought it finally found its forever home.

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I often worry that too many new cat owners have unrealistic assumptions when it comes to the expectations and responsibilities of sharing your home with one or more cats. Because of their romanticized preconception of cat behavior (and for that I blame cat food commercials that hire supernaturally unfinicky actors, cat litter ads that hire one of the few cats alive that actually cover their disgusting waste, and Sarah McLachlan), these stereotypically lonely yet good intentioned people quickly regret their decision. This can result in lashing out when the cat behaves as nature intended it to, returning the cat like an unwanted gift after Christmas, or re-homing the cat who thought it finally found its forever home.

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Nine years ago, Mr. Tiddles was left behind when his owners moved away. As a matter of fact, the rumor was that when his former owners left, the cat was stranded inside the empty apartment with nothing more than an open bag of cat food. When the new tenant moved in, she kicked him out. With nowhere to go, Mr. Tiddles wasted his days roaming the apartment complex’s parking lot, crouching under parked cars for shade and lapping up the dirty water that collected in the potholes.

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Talk To Your Cats About Meth Addiction

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This is why I will die if there is a home invasion.

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This is why your cat is not trying to kill you.

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How to Brush a Cat

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This is a cat owner’s guide to preparing for last-minute company.

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How to Keep Your Cat Out of the Christmas Tree

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One of many thoughts your should consider before adopting/rescuing a cat.

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Feeding Multiple Cats

April 26, 2011

How to Feed Multiple Cats

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