The Reluctant Cat Owner's Journal

To the Buyer of My Home

December 7, 2015 — 35 Comments

I will be asking my realtor to post the following letter to our home description. What do you think?

In My Cats cats, compulsive cleaning, funny, gay couple, real estate

The Cat Burglar

November 9, 2015 — 17 Comments

REAR BEDROOM GLASSBREAK ALARM
This is the message that appeared on my iPhone while at the office last Friday.

In My Cats alarm system, break-in, cat, cats, funny, Handicat, home-owner, humor

The Entitled Heathen

October 7, 2015 — 20 Comments

For the record, Elvis does not own everything.

In My Cats cat, cats, funny, humor

Is Your Cat a Meth Addict?

August 18, 2015 — 27 Comments

Talk To Your Cats About Meth Addiction

In My Cats addiction, Cat Care, cats, drugs, Handicat, humor, meth, meth mouth

Sometimes I get so frustrated sharing my house with five cats. That’s why I vent to you, Journal. I can say whatever I want, and you never complain or call me shallow or selfish. Without saying a word, you talk me down from diving into insanity.

In My Cats cats, funny, humor, offensive, poem

Mom vs Mr. Tiddles

May 14, 2015 — 8 Comments

The following is a re-telling of what happened when Mom closed the bedroom door to try on her new sweater.

In My Cats cat, cats, funny, humor, motherhood, parenting

If I Die in a Home Invasion

May 5, 2015 — 30 Comments

This is why I will die if there is a home invasion.

In My Cats Cat Care, cats, funny, Handicat, humor, story

Your Cat is not Trying to Kill You

April 23, 2015 — 19 Comments

This is why your cat is not trying to kill you.

In My Cats cat, Cat Care, cats, funny, humor

The Cat Olympics

February 23, 2015 — 19 Comments

Welcome back to the first annual Cat Olympics broadcasting from beautiful Memphis, TN.

In My Cats cat, cats, funny, humor

Valentines for Your Heathen

February 11, 2015 — 5 Comments

Valentine’s day cards for my cats.

In My Cats cats, funny, humor

How to Brush a Cranky Heathen

January 30, 2015 — 8 Comments

How to brush a cranky cat:

In My Cats acting, Cat Care, cats, funny, humor

Preparing for Last-Minute Company

December 17, 2014 — 12 Comments

This is a cat owner’s guide to preparing for last-minute company.

In My Cats Cat Care, cats, clean, funny, humor

How to Keep a Cat out of a Christmas Tree

November 17, 2014 — 26 Comments

How to Keep Your Cat Out of the Christmas Tree

In My Cats cat, Cat Care, cats, Christmas, Christmas tree, funny, holidays, humor

To the Cat that Broke My Printer

October 1, 2014

This is a message to the cat that broke my printer.

In My Cats cats, humor

Before You Adopt/Rescue a Heathen

August 2, 2014

Before adopting another cat, I should consider this:

In My Cats cats, humor

To the Buyer of My Home

The Cat Burglar

The Entitled Heathen

Is Your Cat a Meth Addict?

The House Of Goddamnits

Mom vs Mr. Tiddles

If I Die in a Home Invasion

Your Cat is not Trying to Kill You

The Cat Olympics

Valentines for Your Heathen

How to Brush a Cranky Heathen

Preparing for Last-Minute Company

How to Keep a Cat out of a Christmas Tree

To the Cat that Broke My Printer

Before You Adopt/Rescue a Heathen

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