Archives For My Cats

To the Buyer of My Home

December 7, 2015 — 35 Comments

I will be asking my realtor to post the following letter to our home description. What do you think?

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The Cat Burglar

November 9, 2015 — 17 Comments

REAR BEDROOM GLASSBREAK ALARM
This is the message that appeared on my iPhone while at the office last Friday.

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The Entitled Heathen

October 7, 2015 — 20 Comments

For the record, Elvis does not own everything.

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Talk To Your Cats About Meth Addiction

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Sometimes I get so frustrated sharing my house with five cats. That’s why I vent to you, Journal. I can say whatever I want, and you never complain or call me shallow or selfish. Without saying a word, you talk me down from diving into insanity.

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Mom vs Mr. Tiddles

May 14, 2015 — 8 Comments

The following is a re-telling of what happened when Mom closed the bedroom door to try on her new sweater.

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This is why I will die if there is a home invasion.

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This is why your cat is not trying to kill you.

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The Cat Olympics

February 23, 2015 — 19 Comments

Welcome back to the first annual Cat Olympics broadcasting from beautiful Memphis, TN.

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Valentines for Your Heathen

February 11, 2015 — 5 Comments

Valentine’s day cards for my cats.

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How to brush a cranky cat:

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This is a cat owner’s guide to preparing for last-minute company.

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How to Keep Your Cat Out of the Christmas Tree

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This is a message to the cat that broke my printer.

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Before adopting another cat, I should consider this:

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